Surviving a bears game

Da Bears? Those bums! But here’s what I did during the game yesterday to avoid that feeling I have that I’ve wasted 3+ hours whenever I watch them play:

1. Early lunch with Nonna and Russian-Ukrainian friend while discussing the situation in her homeland. (TV off until 12:30.)

2. Work out in front of the tube while Lev draws picture of Jay Cutler with stickers on his helmet that read “I’m stupid” and “Total Failure.”

3. Clean gerbil cages while Cutler throws another interception. Lev says, “I can’t stand this anymore!” and rushes outside to see if his friends are around.

4. Trim warts on bottom of foot and dribble them in Dr. Scholl’s wart acid as Bears collapse in overtime.

Great afternoon.

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